Thursday, August 31, 2017

I Re-Introduce The Silver Bullet Awards


The current most evil person in the world, evangelist Joel Osteen is in big shit at this moment. I have been thinking about how a person can recover from an act of selfishness so big that it invalidates all the bullshit he preaches to a flock that he as fleeces so that he can become wealthy beyond the dreams of Avarice. The town that he has his big mega church (which ass a church pays NO taxes) was just destroyed by a natural disaster. Regardless of the truth there is a perception that he closed his 16000 seat complex off to people seeking refuge until shamed to do so on social media.

Bless you internet and your ability to influence the world in good ways for once. It's been nice to hear about a NEW asshole from the media. The old asshole was getting tired and boring. Like a show we are all forced to watch and somehow never goes off the air (kinda like Big Bang Theory).

Of course, instead of making this all right the next day by opening up his doors, this con artist chose to go on the talk show circuit and rewrite history and tells us lies and distort the facts with his sickly sweet words and perfect bone structure.that the timeline shows just are not true. And this from a man of God? It angers me as hubris and hypocrisy anger me. Instead of ranting further I submit the letter I wrote to Joel in the moment to give him some advice about how to come out of this so that he doesn't have to move into a cave in Pakistan to save himself from the wrath of his society.

Remember your history, people... It's never the original crime that gets you. It's ALWAYS the cover-up.

My word to Joel. I don't have twitter so I can't message him this directly.

Bitch, Own your shit. Make amends, be contrite and live your word and we will like you ever more. It would be a refreshing surprise. Have your 'Come to Jeebus' moment, Cry on TV if you need to, Joel. There is no shame. Then join the Mattress Man to make a better Houston for everyone.

Your super power to motivate and inspire is needed now and unfortunately your asshole greedy douchebag side is really working counter to the play I got going here to somehow come out of this disaster better than when you all went into it.

No more bullshit. The bullshit is done. You have lived off your town for too long now and benefited only yourself. That kind of behavior is over. Time for you to live the word you preach. You have about 24 hours to begin your penance with a real big gesture to Huston and to the world that is watching you. Take my wise counsel, Joel and realize that 24 hours is a generous time frame in the digital world. Please make the right choice. Or burn. You can still control what happens to you.

 

2 comments:

Sean Robert Meaney said...

Is this the time we should build a billion population city in Canada? A square grid city of a million one acre residential lots. Each apartment block a thousand shipping container sized modular single occupancy apartments with a bed, kitchenette, toilet, shower, laundry. Sell them for 1250,000 dollars each. Build a billion population city.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Okay but what is your point?